Have you ever thought about building your own social network? You can do it in 15 minutes for less than $3 per month. Imagine everything that Facebook offers, tailored to your specific purpose, totally under your control. I’ve built five such networks and will likely build many more. The secret is www.Ning.com.

Q: Why would you want your own social network?

A: Because it’s a more efficient and effective means of connecting and communicating than the methods you’re using now (newsletters, email, website). Unlike a website, a Ning network is fully interactive and requires no programming. Instead, you edit just like you do in Microsoft Word.

Imagine having a Facebook-like service to connect with your key customers… or with your employees (closed membership; tight security)… or with partners or suppliers. I’m talking about membership, blogs, forums, photos, videos, documents, groups, and much, much more.

Q: Who is most responsible for the emergence of the World Wide Web?

A: There are multiple correct answers here and “Al Gore” is not one of them.  I would give full credit for the answer “Tim Berners-Lee”, the British engineer and MIT professor who first proposed “www” in March 1989 and then implemented the first HTTP connection on Christmas Day the following year. I was actually thinking of “Marc Andreessen” who, as a college student in 1993, co-wrote and launched the Mosaic web browser and who, as a fresh-out grad, cofounded Netscape and appeared on the cover of Time Magazine as an IPO billionaire.

Marc Andreessen is one of the folks behind Ning, along with more than $100M in venture capital. Is this getting interesting?

An aside, per Wikipedia: Al Gore (I’m no fan) sponsored legislation (the High Performance Computing and Communication Act of 1991, AKA “the Gore bill”) that helped fund the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois, where Marc Andreessen was studying,. ‘If it had been left to private industry, it wouldn’t have happened,’ Andreessen says of Gore’s bill, ‘at least, not until years later.’

Ning allows you to collaboratively share information in open or closed groups. Let’s look at some examples:

One of the first Ning networks I built was for home winemakers (I produce about 500 bottles of fabulous red wine per year – want to be friends?). In this Ning group (www.CellarDwellers.ning.com), we connect and trade winemaking tips and techniques. We share photos of our cellars. And we discuss acidity level in grapes for hours on end.

At TalkShoe, we built two different Ning networks: One was for the 1% of people who created content using TalkShoe. We provided guidance on how to produce better content and on how to promote it. Win-win! The other was for the smaller percentage of people who wanted to build features on top of TalkShoe. We provided code samples and geeky guidance to help them.

These days, I’m planning my next start-up. Even before I’ve hired the first engineer, I’ve launched a Ning network to share the concept with potential users and solicit their input via a short survey. Check it out at www.GradeNation.com. It’s helping me understand exactly what my prospects want before I start spending the big bucks on building it.

If you like what you see, create your own Ning network for your business. Could it replace your antiquated website? I bet the answer is yes.

In today’s crazy, noisy, hyper-accelerated social media world, your choice is to be known for one thing… or none. Social media is fabulous in that, in contrast to your email blasts, newsletters, and direct mail, Google sees your blog posts, Tweets, and Yelps. That helps your business get found at the very moment when someone goes searching for exactly what you offer.

But if you’re Yammering about something different every time you check-in, thousands of other businesses will appear higher in the Google results than you do. Even just a dozen or two above you means that you’re an Internet footnote destined for obscurity. Only Google’s first page, and maybe sometimes their second, has value in attracting customers.

Yes, you could bid for Google Adwords and pay from $0.25 to $100 per click-through (pity the lawyers chasing mesothelioma victims, one outrageously expensive click). Or you could learn to dominate “organic” search by attracting clicks for free. The trick is to talk about one thing early and often; the one thing in which you’re a world expert.

About Keywords and Search Phrases

The key is to find a phrase that balances quantity with quality. Select a term too general and few of the myriad people searching for it will be looking for what you do. Choose a term too narrow and few people will be searching for it at all.

To use a real example, I’m currently working with Linear Corp, a company that has developed a new audio-equipment-interconnect-standard called Digi-5. This standard allows different vendors’ equipment to play beautifully together (like a symphony) in an interoperable, whole house audio system. Digi-5 could focus on the search term “audio” and see 151,000,000 people (the actual number) search for it each month. But rarely would they be looking for exactly what we sell even if we somehow managed to work our way onto Page 1. Or Digi-5 could focus on the phrase “high quality CAT5-based vendor-independent whole house audio distribution system at an unbelievably low price” (yes, I’m radically over-emphasizing my point or shamelessly promoting a client…) and attract maybe one searcher in a billion… or not!

Google Keyword Tool is Fast, Easy and FREE

There’s a magical tool that can tell you exactly what phrases people are going to search for next month. It’s almost like having ESP (“extra sensory perception”, a phase that keeps coming up as I discuss social media; talk about social media). It turns out that human beings are not like mutual funds; our past performance is indeed a pretty good predictor of future results.

Tell me any phrase and I can tell you how many people will Google it next month, plus or minus 10%. Better yet, discover it for yourself. Find it by searching Google for “Adwords Keywords Tool”, then enter your word or phrase in the “Find Keywords” box.  Be sure explore the synonym phrases. Select a phrase or two that are relevant to your business and that have lots of searchers but not too many. Then, go back to Google’s homepage and try them out. If the search results are where you want to be seen, you’ve found your phrases.

From now on, every time you do anything online (website, press release, Tweet, Yelp, blog post, etc.) use that exact phrase like it’s your name. Soon, you’ll be attracting new prospects.

Yes, you’ll be known for only one thing but that’s far better than none.

The best sales people don’t work at your company. Fighting words? Read on and decide for yourself.

The Internet recently marked its fortieth birthday. For the first, say, thirty-eight years, it brought us an exponentially increasing tsunami of information with one big caveat. The source of much of that information was unknown, suspect, or worse.

I recently learned that 63.2% of statistics are made up. That stipulated, it turns out that only 14% of us trust the advertising and marketing being trumpeted by businesses. Shocked that people aren’t buying as soon as they discover your website?

On the other hand, 78% of us trust peer recommendations. Some of us probably have lying, cheating friends, but on balance, apparently they’re a good lot.

During the last two years we’ve seen an explosion of social networking. What’s different now is that people are using their real identities and they’re connecting principally with people they “know”. Facebook recently surpassed 450 million members (making it the world’s third largest country), while LinkedIn is approaching 70 million business professionals.

It turns out that what we’re telling each other in these networks is greatly influencing our behavior. Last summer, Sacha Baron Cohen launched “Brüno”, his highly anticipated follow-up to the blockbuster “Borat”. Facebook friends immediately trashed the movie on opening night, and by the next day it was seriously underperforming the experts’ box office projections.

Shortly thereafter, on another opening Friday, “Inglourious Basterds” was described by one of my Facebook friends as “the best QT movie yet” (Quentin Tarantino, director of “Pulp Fiction” among others). As a direct result, my wife, my son, and three of his friends ended up in a theater that same weekend. Apparently this was not a unique experience as it was QT’s biggest opening weekend ever!

Back to your sales people… When they start talking, 86% of us (and hopefully not the remaining 14%) stop listening. Or at least we stop believing.

But what if you could get your happiest customers talking about you, to your prospects and to potential customers not even on your radar? You’d be leveraging that 78% trust; that would be powerful.

While there are probably ways to orchestrate this IRL (in real life), geography, expense, and our respective busy lives impede it. But social networks can actually facilitate it.

How about using LinkedIn to have happy customers introduce and recommend you to new prospects? How about using your iPhone or Flip videocam to record selected customers talking about your great products and fabulous support?

It’s true; your existing customers can be your best sales people. These days, with social media it’s easier than ever to help them work for you.

One last thought:  The opposite side of the same coin is unhappy customers: It’s critical to turn them around immediately. Search YouTube for “United Breaks Guitars” and see how a single unhappy passenger cost the airline $180 million in market valuation. Don’t let it happen to your business.

When I was young, the one super power I deeply desired was extra sensory perception — ESP. I wanted to know what people were thinking. Now, thanks to Twitter and other social media services, I’ve acquired an ability that very closely approximates it.

It took the Twitter team three years to figure out that this version of ESP is the most interesting thing they created. As a result, they’ve redesigned their home page to focus on it. When you go to site without signing in, there it is: The most popular topic this minute… this day… this week. As I write, I’m certain that Tiger Woods is praying for the next big event to knock him out of public consciousness, at least until the start of golf season. And David Letterman is so thankful that Tiger Woods came along.

Twitter search is ESP because 50 million times a day, people share their thoughts in 140 characters or less. With 80% of tweets being done from mobile devices, they’re coming from everywhere.

So think creatively about how your business could use this. For example, let’s say you run an auto dealership in Mars (PA, that is). Let’s find out who wants a new car right now!

In the Twitter search box I type: “new car” (in quotes to search for the entire phrase). And since we serve a limited geographic area, I’ll add “near:16046” (without quotes). To be more specific, I’ll also add “within: 25 miles” (without quotes) because people will drive only so far for a good deal. Yes, the Internet and cell phones know precisely where their users are at all times; scary but true.

After 1.93 seconds of searching, I discover four local folks with new cars on their minds:

“MY NEW CAR IS GONNA BE A 2011 CAR”

“Scramble and find a new car – my inspection is up and costs way too much to fix. 188k!”

“I wanna New Car!!!”

“It’s time for a new car!”

In each case, I could begin a conversation by offering a “secret discount code” or helpful advice such as: “I’m a car dealer. Inside info: You always get a better deal when you…” (Side note: Not being a car dealer myself, I’m dying to see the last 72 characters of this advice).

One other thing: Once you’ve created a search query that works, you never do it again. Instead, click the button that says “Feed for this query” and you’ll receive automatic notifications as new matches occur. How cool is that?

Think about it: Knowing exactly what is on somebody’s mind is what made Google rich. They serve relevant ads with every search; it’s a proven winner! Using ESP (AKA Twitter search) for your business in your geography, and then engaging in conversations within the norms of social media, you can find and win new customers.

To get started, go to:

www.search.twitter.com/advanced. Tune into anything that’s important to you, including people with positive or negative attitudes (customer service, anyone?), people posing questions, and people “referencing” your business (or your competitors). The value is limited only by your mind.

I have seen the future of advertising! It’s interesting and interactive, and at least for the moment it’s free. Welcome to the rapidly evolving world of social media for business.

Two excellent examples of such “ads” are by Blendtec, a commercial blender manufacturer (B2B), and by T-Mobile, a cell service provider (B2C). You might not even recognize these as ads and that’s the point; they’re part product demo, part entertainment.

Possibly borrowing the idea from Saturday Night Live (recall the Super Bass-O-Matic ’76), George Write, Blendtec’s Director of Marketing, created a kitschy video series, “Will It Blend”. He convinced his CEO, Tom Dickson, to wear a white lab coat while blending a variety of wacky items on camera. We’re talking about glowsticks, Bic lighters, golf balls (can you say “slice”), and lots more.

Soon, YouTube viewers were watching, laughing, sharing with friends, and making their own suggestions about items to blend. The company responded to popular demand and, although as an Apple fan it’s painful to watch, they even blended an iPhone.

If that sounds like a waste of $500, I say au contraire. The iPhone blending has been viewed 7 million times, to say nothing of the dozens of other videos. Blendtec ultimately launched www.willitblend.com which became more popular (by far) than their primary website.

Blending these odd items made a strong impression; that must be one strong blade and an amazing motor. But here’s the bottom line: The company’s sales have skyrocketed, reportedly quintupling.  That’s the power of social media done right, in the B2B space no less.

My other favorite example illustrating the future of advertising is the “T-Mobile Dance” video available on YouTube. The company recruited hundreds of participants to meet up at Liverpool Street Train Station on January 15, 2009. At 11:00 AM, an energetic music mix begins blaring from speakers typically droning on about arrivals and departures. One person starts to dance, then five, then … hundreds.

No doubt this involved hours of practice as people from one end of the station to other dance in unison. In two minutes it’s over and the crowd disperses. In a pre-social-media world, it wouldn’t have been worth doing.

However, 15 million views on YouTube is a game changer, especially since it is often forwarded friend-to-friend with a hearty endorsement. My bet is that not a single person stopped watching before the end. What advertiser wouldn’t trade their soul for that degree of focus and engagement?

Watch the video carefully and you’ll notice almost four-dozen “product placement shots” – happy people talking on their cell phones, snapping photos, and shooting videos. Notice how perfectly the experience aligns with T-Mobile’s slogan, “Life’s for Sharing”. Notice how T-Mobile has fostered participation by encouraging people to orchestrate their own events and post videos on their “Life’s for Sharing” channel.

Perhaps it’s time for your business to experiment with this form of social media “advertising”. If so, start by asking how you can create value for your target audience, how you can get them to “opt in”, and how you can motivate them to share your message with their friends. If you’re on the right path, you won’t be creating a traditional ad campaign.

Social media and social networking are quickly becoming “de rigueur” for business. A recent study by the Chicago-based firm, Slack Barshinger, showed that small and medium businesses are getting “heavily involved with social media, with about half using blogs, wikis, Twitter or other social media channels for business purposes.” If your company and team are not yet engaged, it’s time to jump in before your competitors beat you to the punch; and “punch” is an apropos term.

This is not your father’s marketing. When participating in social media, here are ten basic rules for what to do and not do:

DON’T:

1)       Don’t get started in social media if you have significant product weaknesses or customer support issues. Engaging in social media makes good products more successful, and bad products… dead. But don’t delay for long; address the issues and then jump in.

2)       Don’t use social media to overtly market or sell. Instead educate, enlighten, inform, and entertain your audience. In so doing, you’ll position yourself and your company as an expert in your field and benefit from the “media halo”.

3)       Don’t “set it and forget it.” That makes you look worse than not showing up at all. Once started, sustain your participation and interaction.

4)       Don’t go negative. Emphasize your strengths and advantages rather than claiming that a competitor has weaknesses.

5)       Don’t mix personal and business accounts/personas, etc.

6)       Don’t expect to fully control the conversation. Social media is not an advertisement, product brochure, newsletter, email blast, or one-way monologue; it’s a conversation. Conversations are bi-directional and can have rough edges. Even if you don’t want to participate, your customers and prospects are already talking. Join them.

7)       Don’t worry about some negativity. Studies show that a little negativity increases credibility and empathy. Paraphrasing Abraham Lincoln: “You can’t please all of the people all of the time.” Be responsive to the negative.

8)       Don’t feel the need to disclose everything. Not everyone who likes sausage wants to see exactly how it’s made. Be open and honest and use discretion.

9)       Don’t be a generalist. With literally hundreds of millions of blogs + videos + podcasts to choose from, every individual can precisely tailor their consumption to their interests. Focus on one topic and do it well (the narrower the better).

10)   Don’t overwhelm your followers with too much information, or too frequently. Everybody’s got a busy life and nobody enjoys getting “Twitter-ria”. Focus on the highest value information and content.

DO:

1)       Do the up-front planning as you would for any important business initiative. Define your target audience, detail how you intend to create value for them, and map out how you expect them to create value for you. Document your approach and objectives per medium (blog, Twitter, Facebook, etc.).

2)       Do read and listen first. In the beginning, listen and learn for a few weeks before responding. In general, spend twice as much time listening as responding.

3)       Do display your Personality, and keep the content Interesting and Entertaining (the old radio adage “PIE”). Remember that people buy from people; show your professional self.

4)       Do be authentic. Never before has a medium and its participants been more skilled at smelling a rat and turning against the perpetrator.

5)       Do remember that social media is about two-way conversation (see “Don’t try to control” above). Conversation builds trust; trust leads to more sales.

6)       Do favor timeless content over the time-sensitive (note: this varies based on the medium and there are exceptions). We live in a time-shifted “TiVo” world and there’s wonderful leverage in creating a blog post (for example) that will have value to new readers weeks, months, or even years from now.

7)       Do remember that “push” is out; “pull” is in. In today’s information-rich world, people want to opt-in, choosing where they spend their time. Give them a reason to choose your content.

8)       Do keep your eyes open. Use Google Alerts, search.twitter.com, relevant Linkedin Groups, Ning networks, and more to listen to the conversation about your company, your competitors, and the best practices in your industry.

Facebook… Business… Facebook… Business… These words don’t go together, do they?

In the early days (so many weeks ago), Facebook was just about connecting with “friends”. Let’s face it; your business does not have friends. Ideally, it has satisfied or maybe even delighted customers given that you fulfill their needs more effectively than do your competitors. In Facebook lingo, these people are “fans”.

That brings us to one of the BIG ideas behind social networking for business. Much of yesterday’s business communications was monologue. Brochures, press releases, direct mail, and advertisements only go one-way: out!

What if you and your team could actually engage in a dialog with your customers and prospects? Yes, it could be a little messier but wow, it would dramatically accelerate organizational learning (important note: only if it is an open and honest conversation).

Get On Board

The faster your company learns, the better it can serve customers. That’s one of the key benefits of engaging in social networking for business. Facebook can be your platform to do this, especially if you’re in the business-to-consumer (B2C) space. For internal communications among a geographically distributed team or in the business-to-business (B2B) space, there are better platforms including Ning to name one.

A key point regarding any social networking initiative: Before beginning, ensure that you have an outstanding product/service that is clearly differentiated from your competition and well serviced with strong customer support. The social web is an accelerator of sorts; it makes strong products better and more successful… and weak products, well, dead.

If you typically start your marketing or communications programs without a plan, budgets, or objectives, go straight to www.facebook.com to get started immediately. The point is… don’t skip these critical steps just because this is a new medium. Even though Facebook is free, engaging in a campaign is not.

Get Your Bearings

On the Facebook homepage, you’ll see a link in the lower right that is relatively new. It says: “Create a Page for a celebrity, band or business.” Click there.

You’ll land on a page that offers a choice between “Local” and “Brand, Product, or Organization”. Examine the business types listed under each option to determine the best fit for your business. If you’re in a single location serving a very limited geographic area, choose “Local”, otherwise go with the latter.

There are many benefits of these fan pages relative to friend pages. First and foremost, they are open to everybody, even Facebook non-members. In addition, they enable messaging to fans based on their location, as well as on age and gender.

From there, you’ll find it easy to complete your fan page and to begin customizing content about your company. After that, the fun begins. This is not a build it and ignore it exercise.

Many businesses use their Facebook page to engage bi-directionally with customers and prospects. For a great example, check out Facebook.com/Starbucks. Note to self: Their number of fans has increased from 1,754,451 to 3,406,891 in less than 30 days. Investigate how they drove that.

Most of the action is on Starbucks “Wall” and in the “Discussions” area. They’re currently sharing descriptions and photos of their CEO’s trip to Rwanda and dialoging with customers about their products. Their newest post says: “Discover the Treat Receipt, bring in your receipt from this morning for a Grande $2 cold drink.”

Very cool idea… Facebook-only specials. What a great way to attract more fans! Note to self: Earlier question partly answered.

Before you conclude that this Facebook thing is only for the big guys, let me point out that a search for “dentist” returns more than 500 matches. Hey, if a dentist can have fans, so can your business. Remember that there are 300 million members of Facebook, 50% having visited in the last 30 days.

In a way, the Starbucks example is misleading. In social networking, quality actually trumps quantity. It’s about creating a real conversation with those people that are most interested in what you offer, accelerating your learning and theirs. It’s easier to sell to and service someone fully engaged in such a conversation because you understand their needs and expectations like never before.

In social networking, don’t be overwhelmed by trying to do everything at once. A journey of one thousand miles begins with the first step. Pick one idea to get started. Facebook could be the right direction for your business.

In my previous column, I talked about using social media to build your small business.  In this second column about using social media to accelerate business growth, let’s talk about that sizzling new sensation called Twitter.

Twitter Explained For the Small Business Owner and CEO

Twitter is an effortless service that allows you to broadcast messages of up to 140 characters to everyone who opts to follow your “tweets.”

Need a sense of how that drives concise communication? Count the characters in the first paragraph, or the second, or this one; exactly 140!

You get the point, but there’s more to it than that. As part of an important behavioral shift ongoing in the Internet, content consumption is shifting from “push” to “pull.” One of the forces behind this sea change is RSS – Really Simple Syndication. With RSS, when you find Internet content you’re interested in, you can subscribe to its “feed” and have your favorite “reader” pull updates down to you automatically. This works for text, audio and video content, and can be as narrow or as broad as your varied interests.

Subscribing via RSS is similar to subscribing to a magazine except that you can specify exactly the subset of articles you want to receive (typically by topic, author, etc.). Instead of having to interrupt my day to go find the latest blog post by my favorite writer or the most recent New York Times article about politics, I sit back and wait for them to come to me.

You Are What Your Customers Say About You

Twitter shifts the power from producer to consumer. Winning content must be consistently interesting, ever more focused, and always relevant to its target, or folks will vote with their mice faster than you can say “unsubscribe.”

Back to Twitter: Unlike with typical email, members choose whom and when to follow by opting in and out. If you don’t follow someone, you don’t see their messages. Due to the simplicity of Twitter and because messages can be sent from or received via cell phone, computer, Facebook, Twitter Web site, and virtually anywhere else, people tend to tweet even minor thoughts and activities. While this can be overwhelming if you attempt to follow everything, with focus and organization it’s surprisingly enlightening. As a quote on the Twitter Web site says, it’s almost like ESP (extra sensory perception). By listening in, you can gain surprising insight into almost any topic or individual.

For example, I recently proposed a viral marketing project for a company that competes with SalesForce.com (SFDC). To get a better sense of the competitive landscape in their market, I searched Twitter for references to “SFDC.” In reviewing a few hundred related tweets from the past few weeks I was able to learn what SFDC users like and don’t like about that service. This provided key insights about how to design a campaign for the potential client, along with ideas for valuable new product features.

Some companies, including Ford, use Twitter to enhance internal communications. Imagine the value of having your sales and marketing teams interacting continuously. With little overhead, your   company would be that much faster at learning, answering questions and identifying new product features, resulting in increased profitability. That said, such an application requires a well-defined “use case” along with advanced Twitter features not discussed here.

What’s Next?

As a first step, jump in as a consumer. Get your Twitter account and follow “CNNBRK” for breaking news from CNN, or follow “DellOutlet” for hot deals from Dell.

You’ll find more that you’ll want to follow and at some point may feel overwhelmed. When that happens, download and install a free Adobe product called Tweetdeck. By then you’ll see many possibilities for your business.

This is the first column of a continuing series of articles addressing new developments and applications in the world of social networking and social media services, with an important twist. It isn’t for kids and consumers as you might expect; rather it’s all about how businesses and organizations are using these new tools to enhance communication with their key constituencies, improving marketing, customer support, sales, and even their products and services.

What’s Social Networking?

According to Wikipedia, “A social network service focuses on building online communities of people who share interests and/or activities, or who are interested in exploring the interests and activities of others.” Fast growing sites include Facebook, Twitter, Ning, and LinkedIn.

Again according to Wikipedia, itself a social media site of sorts, “Social media is information content created by people using highly accessible and scalable publishing technologies. It is intended to facilitate communications, influence interaction between peers and with public audiences.” Examples include blogs, podcasts, and YouTube videos.

These definitions point directly to the power of these initially consumer-oriented tools for business application. In the past, much of our business communication has been one way out – essentially “open loop”. Examples include everything from policy manuals, to newsletters (internal and external), to various forms of broadcast advertising, to most forms marketing and even to customer support.

Close the Loop With Customers

Now, with social networking and social media offerings, businesses can close the loop with customers, partners, employees, and other key groups. We can get interactive on a one-to-one basis at a scale that was impossible before. I’m talking about a two-way dialog here where we’re directly connected with our key stakeholders.

If your first reaction to this concept is “Oh my gosh, it sounds like chaos and anarchy. I must remain in control of the conversation”, let me offer this. For virtually all businesses, these conversations are already ongoing among your various customers, employees, etc. The only question is whether you want to participate or not.

So why should you? As Charles Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” What’s true for species often over long periods of time, is true for business but on a hyper-accelerated scale. By getting your employees interactive with your customers using social networking and social media, your company’s rate of learning will accelerate dramatically. This will lead to better decision-making and improved resource utilization that will payback the investment many times over; not to mention improving customer satisfaction and loyalty.

In future columns, I’ll share examples of how leading businesses are using Twitter, Ning, Facebook, MySpace, TalkShoe, WordPress, iTunes, YouTube, GetSatisfaction, and more.

Now What?

So where should you start? Let’s pick an easy place that will almost certainly motivate you to wade in deeper. Begin by finding out what people are currently saying about your business. Go to www.google.com/alerts and enter the name of your company. Once a day (or more often if selected), you’ll receive an email listing each blog post, press mention, and web reference to your company. Amazing!

If this generates numerous unrelated citings, consider placing your company name in quotes, as in “Acme Industries”. And when you get that right, set up Google alerts on your competitors. When they make a mistake, you’ll know about it and be ready to capitalize.

I’m writing this column for the first time directly on my iPad. I’m using this device in places I’ve never used a computer before: On my sofa reading The Wall Street Journal, in my bed streaming NetFlix movies, and presently propped comfortably on my Southwest Airlines tray table flying from the ‘Burgh to the windy city (an allusion to Chicago politicians more than the weather, although tonight 65,000-foot cumulonimbus clouds delayed us for hours).

You don’t have to be a social media expert to know that Southwest is an entertaining airline. Many of their flight attendants are comedians, singers, and rappers (see YouTube for the best safety briefing ever; note to the FAA – it’s something people actually listen to). They’re not at all like United. Ten million people know that “United breaks guitars”.

So to the point of this column: Since buying my iPad, I’ve been increasingly frustrated by having to turn it off until reaching 10,000 feet. What a dumb rule! Since I no longer buy USAToday, The Wall Street Journal, or The New York Times in paper form, every time I fly I’m bored out of my mind for 10 minutes during both takeoff and landing.

If an iPhone or iPad could bring down a jetliner, the terrorists would have already won, right? Who’s the spineless bureaucrat responsible for his policy?

I’ve been contemplating using Twitter or Facebook to start a revolution to demand a policy change. We the people make the rules. We need our iPads 24 x 7. Are you with me?

Tonight’s flight delay provided an interesting opportunity. While waiting, I talked with our pilot outside the cockpit. Since this was a casual conversation, I’ll caveat it in every way as “unofficial”. That said, Googling his name revealed that he is an amazingly accomplished flier. He holds the record for surviving the highest speed ejection from a US fighter plane ever (over 800 MPH).

I put it to him frankly. “Can an iPad, or any electronic device, really bring down an airplane?”

“Did you know that the engines on Model 700 of this jet are radio-controlled?” he responded.

Say what? Now he had my attention. Apparently it reduces weight but what a crazy tradeoff.

He went on to tell me about a time that he was executing a “CAT III” landing in very poor visibility and a “proximity alarm” triggered repeatedly resulting in three aborted landing attempts (I’m not sure I’ve captured the lingo perfectly; in my world CAT 3 is a type of phone wire).

It turned out that some guy was using his cell phone and when he shut it off, there were no more alarms.

It’s a long shot that any device would actually interfere with control, let alone catastrophically. But unless consumers want to bear the cost and delay of FCC or FAA certification of every version of every product, we’d better behave.

I’m calling off my revolution and keeping a closer eye on my fellow passengers. Compared to the potential alternative, ten minutes of boredom is a welcome price to pay.